I went to the library recently to pick up some books on hold for my sweetie. Among them was The Mote in God's Eye, a first-contact novel by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. I sat reading in the car for a bit, to see if I'd like it. I couldn't remember reading a Niven/Pournelle novel. They tend to write hard science fiction, and while I love hard science, I generally like to get it in short nonfiction articles rather than book-length works, and I haven't often found hard sf captivating.
The first few chapters kept me going, but I never reached that level of absorption where time seems suspended. Mote was interesting, but not impossible to put down. Maybe there were more characters than I could track; maybe I had trouble conjuring a mental image of the aliens; maybe I tried too hard to puzzle out the backstory (which I hadn't read); perhaps I was feeling impatient for the payoff of what seemed to me an overlong setup. Maybe a combination. I got halfway through the book before resorting to the Web for a synopsis.
Once I read the synopsis and knew how the story turned out, I was eager to get back to the book and finish reading it. (And, having finished it, I'm looking forward to reading the sequel.)
This started me thinking about "spoilers," the cheat sheets of popular media. You can find spoiler pages for TV shows, movies, books, games, you name it. Sometimes I don't want to be "spoiled." I want to come to a work fresh and open. I want the suspense to last for as long as the author can draw it out. I want to take my time as it unfolds.
At other times, spoilers renew my interest when it starts to flag. And once I've read a book, or seen a movie, what then? Well, I've read Pride & Prejudice and Atlas Shrugged and War for the Oaks and The Beekeeper's Apprentice about a bazillion times each, and each time, I love them more. Something new opens up, even in that familiar experience.
Life can be like that. Retrospect can reveal patterns imperceptible when I was in the thick of things. Imagining the ultimate results ahead can help me re-engage and can carry me forward.
And there's power in retelling the past, or telling it differently. If history is written by the victors, I possess the privilege of rewriting my own history. I can go back with a new perspective, emphasize different details, come to different conclusions, and change the lessons I learn to more empowering or entertaining ones.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Sunday, April 05, 2009
No excuses!
One of my personal heroes is a former boss who was a no-excuses kind of guy. He would ask for the most complicated meetings, with the most pie-in-the-sky schedule, and it was challenging. I couldn't always get everyone in the same room at the same time. I did my best given the information and resources I had, but I almost always saw room for improvement:
I could have started earlier.
I could have continued longer.
I could have called people at home.
I could have e-mailed people at home.
I could have tried contacting them through other channels.
I could have been more persistent, insistent, or annoying.
I could have delegated to others who had more influence.
What stopped me from doing those things? My own thoughts or beliefs. Typically, they fell into one of three categories:
The significant point for me isn't whether the beliefs are true or not - that's secondary to the point that beliefs guide (or motivate) my actions. What I believe is always going to be more important than what's true.
I need to choose my beliefs carefully and be excruciatingly honest with myself.
Perfection isn't possible. No matter what I do, there's going to be room for improvement. The key questions for me are, "What do I want to achieve?" and "What beliefs will move me forward toward that?" and "Am I being honest with myself in those beliefs?"
Being clear about my goals helps me recognize the difference between an excuse and a change in priorities. A change in priorities keeps me moving forward. An excuse derails me. For instance, if my boss said, "Get these 15 people together for a meeting in two weeks," that's the assumed goal. If I couldn't do it because some people's schedules were already booked, I could say, "I can't do this." That's an excuse. But if I ask, "Which is more important: 100% attendance or the two-week time frame?" that's a change in priorities that keeps me moving forward. After all, the meeting itself isn't what's important; the meeting is just a strategy in service to some larger goal. Knowing the end goal means I can change my approach and keep on going.
I could have started earlier.
I could have continued longer.
I could have called people at home.
I could have e-mailed people at home.
I could have tried contacting them through other channels.
I could have been more persistent, insistent, or annoying.
I could have delegated to others who had more influence.
What stopped me from doing those things? My own thoughts or beliefs. Typically, they fell into one of three categories:
1. What I've done is good enough. (I've got commitments from the key people, I've met the most important requirements, etc..)Sometimes these beliefs were true. What I'd done was good enough. Investing more time or energy wasn't a good choice. Another opportunity did lie ahead. Sometimes they weren't true; they were excuses.
2. It's not worth it. (Investing more effort would likely have diminishing returns; time or quality on another project would suffer.)
3. There will be another opportunity to achieve the outcome. (We can have another meeting for people who couldn't make the first one, or we can have one-on-one meetings or phone calls.)
The significant point for me isn't whether the beliefs are true or not - that's secondary to the point that beliefs guide (or motivate) my actions. What I believe is always going to be more important than what's true.
I need to choose my beliefs carefully and be excruciatingly honest with myself.
Perfection isn't possible. No matter what I do, there's going to be room for improvement. The key questions for me are, "What do I want to achieve?" and "What beliefs will move me forward toward that?" and "Am I being honest with myself in those beliefs?"
Being clear about my goals helps me recognize the difference between an excuse and a change in priorities. A change in priorities keeps me moving forward. An excuse derails me. For instance, if my boss said, "Get these 15 people together for a meeting in two weeks," that's the assumed goal. If I couldn't do it because some people's schedules were already booked, I could say, "I can't do this." That's an excuse. But if I ask, "Which is more important: 100% attendance or the two-week time frame?" that's a change in priorities that keeps me moving forward. After all, the meeting itself isn't what's important; the meeting is just a strategy in service to some larger goal. Knowing the end goal means I can change my approach and keep on going.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Perseverence
Staying on course comes from a combination of persistence and course correction.
I don't want to reward behavior that leads me away from my stated goal. Yet... when I'm going in a new direction, I'm going to fall short of my goals from time to time. If I fall short frequently, or by a large margin, I risk feeling discouraged to the point of despair and hopelessness. "I'm NEVER going to get it right!" It can be hard to remember at times that if I give it enough time, if I am consistent, if I try (that is, make the attempt) I will get there. If someone catches me in one of those moments of discouragement and tells me I'm throwing myself a pity party and get on with it already, girlfriend, I might feel even worse; withdraw, isolate, and cut myself off from others who have done it - who might give me encouragement and hope.
I think the word "try" gets a bad rap. I tried to waltz 500 times before I finally did it successfully. I tried to bake scones 50 times before I figured out how to do it consistently. People learn better when they are relaxed, curious, experimenting... Think about it - will you do better on a test in a quiet room where you can focus and concentrate, or with someone standing right behind you, looking over your shoulder, saying, "Are you sure that's right? Where did you get that answer? Aren't you done yet? You should know this! Haven't you learned this yet? What's your problem?"
Most people who are trying to [insert personal challenge here] have failed numerous times before. That critical, negative, inner voice is already turned up to HIGH VOLUME. What they need to build - to strengthen - is the "You can do it!" voice. The one that says, "The past does not equal the future. This time will be different. Keep going. You will get it. You will succeed."
I don't want to reward behavior that leads me away from my stated goal. Yet... when I'm going in a new direction, I'm going to fall short of my goals from time to time. If I fall short frequently, or by a large margin, I risk feeling discouraged to the point of despair and hopelessness. "I'm NEVER going to get it right!" It can be hard to remember at times that if I give it enough time, if I am consistent, if I try (that is, make the attempt) I will get there. If someone catches me in one of those moments of discouragement and tells me I'm throwing myself a pity party and get on with it already, girlfriend, I might feel even worse; withdraw, isolate, and cut myself off from others who have done it - who might give me encouragement and hope.
I think the word "try" gets a bad rap. I tried to waltz 500 times before I finally did it successfully. I tried to bake scones 50 times before I figured out how to do it consistently. People learn better when they are relaxed, curious, experimenting... Think about it - will you do better on a test in a quiet room where you can focus and concentrate, or with someone standing right behind you, looking over your shoulder, saying, "Are you sure that's right? Where did you get that answer? Aren't you done yet? You should know this! Haven't you learned this yet? What's your problem?"
Most people who are trying to [insert personal challenge here] have failed numerous times before. That critical, negative, inner voice is already turned up to HIGH VOLUME. What they need to build - to strengthen - is the "You can do it!" voice. The one that says, "The past does not equal the future. This time will be different. Keep going. You will get it. You will succeed."
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Menopause, shmenopause
This article, "71 Year Old Trainer a True Inspiration," may not be the final word on how we can age with grace, strength, and resilience... but it's one of the best words I've read in awhile.
Friday, March 13, 2009
May his memory be for a blessing
I had never heard of Lee Lacey before his obituary appeared in the Sunday Oregonian. His is one of those life stories that makes you realize the reaches of the human spirit are more vast than we are often led to believe. He inspired many who needed inspiration. He brought people together despite horrendous obstacles. He worked persistantly on behalf the community he loved. My heart goes out to those who knew and loved him.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Epic adventure returns to PST
I want to pass on an invitation to those folks interested in resilience, leadership, achievement in the face of adversity, and maybe even the miraculous. I reviewed this show when it debuted last year, and no words do it justice. I have no doubt it will sell out again. Since you already know what I think, I'll let the author and performer invite you himself. Lawrence Howard of Portland Story Theater wrote:
It is with great pleasure that I invite you to the return engagement of my one-man show, Shackleton's Antarctic Nightmare, opening for a run of two weekends in January. I will once again be telling the epic, true story of British Antarctic explorer Ernest Shackleton and the 1914 voyage of The Endurance.
Shackleton's dream of being the first man to traverse the Antarctic continent on foot became a nightmare when his valiant ship was trapped in the pack ice of the Weddell Sea and crushed by the pressure of the ice period. The tale of how he and the 27 men of the British Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition survived on the ice and eventually came to safety is one that has fascinated me for as long as I can remember. This story is especially important to me because my dad and I shared a life-long interest and passion for the Shackleton saga, and I like to weave a few threads about my father into the telling.
This is a story that speaks to something very deep and primal within the human psyche. It's about courage and fortitude and determination. It's about a glorious failure. It's a story that will renew your faith in the indomitable power of the human spirit.
"I had the pleasure of seeing your show with some friends this weekend. Exquisite! I have lived with the tale for 20 years and so hearing it again in the hands of a talented teller was a real treat!" Roderick Smith, 2008 audience member
"That was better than any book or movie or anything!" Eric Orem, 2008 audience member
All four performances of last year's run were sold out. Many who saw the show said they would come see it again; many who missed it have begged for a return engagement. Because there is so much general interest in the Shackleton story, this particular program appeals to an even wider audience that PST's regular, loyal storytelling fans. The Hipbone Studio venue seats a maximum of about 75 people, and I fully expect it to sell out for all four shows, as it did last year, so I encourage you to call or email and reserve your seats early.
It is with great pleasure that I invite you to the return engagement of my one-man show, Shackleton's Antarctic Nightmare, opening for a run of two weekends in January. I will once again be telling the epic, true story of British Antarctic explorer Ernest Shackleton and the 1914 voyage of The Endurance.
Shackleton's dream of being the first man to traverse the Antarctic continent on foot became a nightmare when his valiant ship was trapped in the pack ice of the Weddell Sea and crushed by the pressure of the ice period. The tale of how he and the 27 men of the British Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition survived on the ice and eventually came to safety is one that has fascinated me for as long as I can remember. This story is especially important to me because my dad and I shared a life-long interest and passion for the Shackleton saga, and I like to weave a few threads about my father into the telling.
This is a story that speaks to something very deep and primal within the human psyche. It's about courage and fortitude and determination. It's about a glorious failure. It's a story that will renew your faith in the indomitable power of the human spirit.
"I had the pleasure of seeing your show with some friends this weekend. Exquisite! I have lived with the tale for 20 years and so hearing it again in the hands of a talented teller was a real treat!" Roderick Smith, 2008 audience member
"That was better than any book or movie or anything!" Eric Orem, 2008 audience member
All four performances of last year's run were sold out. Many who saw the show said they would come see it again; many who missed it have begged for a return engagement. Because there is so much general interest in the Shackleton story, this particular program appeals to an even wider audience that PST's regular, loyal storytelling fans. The Hipbone Studio venue seats a maximum of about 75 people, and I fully expect it to sell out for all four shows, as it did last year, so I encourage you to call or email and reserve your seats early.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Change or Die
I loved Alan Deutschman's article "Change or Die" when it ran in Fast Company, and I love the book he expanded the article into: Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change in Work and in Life.
In 2004, Deutschman attended a conference to explore solutions to the world's biggest problems. A dream of experts who spoke on health care said, "A relatively small percentage of the population consumes the vast majority of the health-care budget for diseases that are very well known and by and large behavioral."
Smoking. Drinking. Eating unhealthily. Stress. Not enough exercise.
And only 1 in 10 given the "change or die" choice changed their behavior.
Deutschman spends the bulk of his book examining the components of successful change. It is possible to change the way you think, feel, and act. Deutschman identifies three motivators that don't work -- fear, facts, and force -- and three that do -- relationships, reframing, and repeating. He uses three major case studies and a number of others to illustrate these principles and describes how individuals and organizations can use these processes to make deep-seated, lasting changes.
In clear, practical language, Deutschman explains important tools for change:
Nothing in the book is really groundbreaking (Deutschman himself points out that the patterns for successful change have been known for decades), and I think his model is simplistic at times, but that's part of what I enjoy about the book. Deutschman takes a range of change models and in clear, direct language synthesizes their mutual and most powerful elements in a practical handbook for change. For me, the real strength of Change or Die is that simplicity.
In 2004, Deutschman attended a conference to explore solutions to the world's biggest problems. A dream of experts who spoke on health care said, "A relatively small percentage of the population consumes the vast majority of the health-care budget for diseases that are very well known and by and large behavioral."
Smoking. Drinking. Eating unhealthily. Stress. Not enough exercise.
And only 1 in 10 given the "change or die" choice changed their behavior.
Deutschman spends the bulk of his book examining the components of successful change. It is possible to change the way you think, feel, and act. Deutschman identifies three motivators that don't work -- fear, facts, and force -- and three that do -- relationships, reframing, and repeating. He uses three major case studies and a number of others to illustrate these principles and describes how individuals and organizations can use these processes to make deep-seated, lasting changes.
In clear, practical language, Deutschman explains important tools for change:
- Frames
- Denial and other psychological defenses
- Short-term wins
- Community and culture
- Acting as if
- Recasting a life story
- Walk the walk
- The brain is plastic
- The solution might be the problem
Nothing in the book is really groundbreaking (Deutschman himself points out that the patterns for successful change have been known for decades), and I think his model is simplistic at times, but that's part of what I enjoy about the book. Deutschman takes a range of change models and in clear, direct language synthesizes their mutual and most powerful elements in a practical handbook for change. For me, the real strength of Change or Die is that simplicity.
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