Pet-sitters and vacations: I got home from my Thanksgiving road trip to Los Angeles and Las Vegas to find my cats happy and healthy, thanks to the pet sitter who miraculously appeared when I most needed her.
About six weeks before the trip, I phoned Janice Rizzi, who'd been recommended to me once upon a time. She's no longer pet-sitting - she's now owner of Rad Cat, a raw pet food manufacturing company. (Coincidentally - if you believe in coincidence - I've been feeding Rad Cat to my kitties on the recommendation of my vet.) She gave me the number of her pet-sitter, who was already booked for the Thankgiving and Christmas holidays.
She referred me to Lara Uskovich, who came by and met Garbo and Cellophane, got a tour of the apartment, and watched the feeding ritual, and learned where all the good cat toys live.
I worried. This was the first extended trip I'd taken for years. Lara assured me I could call her and check in anytime. I didn't want to seem like a stage mother, and she had my number in case of emergency, so I didn't call... but I did worry.
I came home to happy kitties - happier than they are when I have to go away for an overnight trip! Lara also left me the most delightful daily diary of each visit: how much they ate, where they were sleeping when she arrived, how much petting, brushing and play time they got... it was adorable.
If you need a pet-sitter, give Lara a call at Buck's Adventure Dogs. (Yes, she does dogs, too.)
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
On Inclusion
At a parish meeting many years ago, the rector announced the results of a safety inspection. The beautiful cedar trees surrounding the church needed to be fire-treated because of their proximity. Spend tens of thousands of dollars for the treatment... or endless thousands in city fines... or cut them down. We had to decide -- and act -- within the time limit on the citation.
The vestry (board of directors) recommended removing the trees. The rector asked for any discussion. After a long silence, the rector said, "Well, since there are no objections, we'll have the trees removed."
When we left church that day, a fellow parishioner approached me, horrified. "I can't believe they'd just go ahead and make a decision like that!"
"What are you talking about?" I said. "They asked for discussion!"
"I wasn't going to raise my hand. Nobody else did. I think people were intimidated. It sounded as though the decision had already been made."
"It was a recommendation," I said. It wasn't final until no one objected."
"Well, I think it's awful," the parishioner huffed.
"It's not like they were going to cut off your head if you asked for more details or objected," I said. "Nobody put a gag in your mouth. If you're too afraid to speak out in a room full of your friends, you've got no right to complain."
I was younger then and spoke more harshly than I would now. The encounter lingers, though, even 20 years later. I'm sure the rector and vestry wanted to include everyone in the decision -- otherwise, why ask for input? Could they have used another approach? Most certainly. Could it have been one that made everyone feel included?
Is it possible to "make" someone feel included? Or is inclusion defined by each individual, in a specific context? As a nominalization, I suspect inclusion is one of those things that needs to be described in observation language (what a videocamera would pick up) before any group can come up with useful strategies to achieve it.
The vestry (board of directors) recommended removing the trees. The rector asked for any discussion. After a long silence, the rector said, "Well, since there are no objections, we'll have the trees removed."
When we left church that day, a fellow parishioner approached me, horrified. "I can't believe they'd just go ahead and make a decision like that!"
"What are you talking about?" I said. "They asked for discussion!"
"I wasn't going to raise my hand. Nobody else did. I think people were intimidated. It sounded as though the decision had already been made."
"It was a recommendation," I said. It wasn't final until no one objected."
"Well, I think it's awful," the parishioner huffed.
"It's not like they were going to cut off your head if you asked for more details or objected," I said. "Nobody put a gag in your mouth. If you're too afraid to speak out in a room full of your friends, you've got no right to complain."
I was younger then and spoke more harshly than I would now. The encounter lingers, though, even 20 years later. I'm sure the rector and vestry wanted to include everyone in the decision -- otherwise, why ask for input? Could they have used another approach? Most certainly. Could it have been one that made everyone feel included?
Is it possible to "make" someone feel included? Or is inclusion defined by each individual, in a specific context? As a nominalization, I suspect inclusion is one of those things that needs to be described in observation language (what a videocamera would pick up) before any group can come up with useful strategies to achieve it.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Instant & Rapid Inductions
Howard Hamilton came up from his hypnosis school in Albany this weekend to teach Saturday's class at Apositiva Institute.
Howard is a master of the Elman method and teaches a wide variety of rapid inductions. I think he's engaging, provocative, curious, attentive, compassionate, and funny as hell.
Instant and rapid inductions aren't everyone's cup of tea. I like them because of the overtly kinesthetic techniques that accompany them. The quick depth is nice, too. As Howard says, the shorter the induction, the longer you have to do content work!
At the same time, the paternal style that characterizes the rapid inductions can grate on some people. They prefer a more maternal style. I'm grateful that Rich and Cat invite Howard down to teach their students as part of their course, because it really demonstrates their commitment to making sure their students have a fantastic grasp of the scope of practice they can develop.
I try always to attend the Oregon Hypnotherapy Association meetings when Howard is teaching, because no matter how many times I watch him work, I always learn something new.
Howard is a master of the Elman method and teaches a wide variety of rapid inductions. I think he's engaging, provocative, curious, attentive, compassionate, and funny as hell.
Instant and rapid inductions aren't everyone's cup of tea. I like them because of the overtly kinesthetic techniques that accompany them. The quick depth is nice, too. As Howard says, the shorter the induction, the longer you have to do content work!
At the same time, the paternal style that characterizes the rapid inductions can grate on some people. They prefer a more maternal style. I'm grateful that Rich and Cat invite Howard down to teach their students as part of their course, because it really demonstrates their commitment to making sure their students have a fantastic grasp of the scope of practice they can develop.
I try always to attend the Oregon Hypnotherapy Association meetings when Howard is teaching, because no matter how many times I watch him work, I always learn something new.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Susan Skye's NVC Deepening Workshop
Just home from the lovely NVC Deepening workshop offered by Susan Skye. Some familiar faces; some new. The West Hills Unitarian Fellowship is set back off Oleson Road in a grove of trees (pine, cedar or redwood -- this city brat couldn't tell). The air smelled clean. I wanted more light, but it's always difficult for me to adjust to the time shift from summer to autumn.
I found it hard to focus entirely on the exercises; I wanted to catch up on what had happened with people since I last saw them. It's always a challenge for me to balance the exercises with the friendships!
I found it hard to focus entirely on the exercises; I wanted to catch up on what had happened with people since I last saw them. It's always a challenge for me to balance the exercises with the friendships!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Tyler met me at the door the other night, grinning ear to ear.
"Snowball is SO busted," he crowed.
"Snowball" is his nickname for Cellophane, my 13-year-old fluffy cat. Cellophane is not a lap kitty. Never has been. She likes to sit next to you on the couch; at night, she'll sleep on top of the bed; but she doesn't like to be picked up and cuddled and she doesn't sit on laps.
Tyler had a series of photos of Cellophane earlier that afternoon, sprawled across his lap.
Hmm.
Are there things you (or your partner, coworkers or boss) "just won't do"? Something out of character? Against beliefs or values?
Behavior and beliefs stem from habit. They've been repeated so often that they seem natural. Part of our identity.
I'm not a morning person. I surprised when a shift in one aspect of my life (which didn't have anything to do with sleep, by the way) resulted in my waking up refreshed, energized, and enthusiastic about the day ahead.
I know I've written about this before, but I'm continually amazed, amused, and relieved by it. We aren't constrained by our past. Sure, it affects us, but it doesn't determine us.
"Snowball is SO busted," he crowed.
"Snowball" is his nickname for Cellophane, my 13-year-old fluffy cat. Cellophane is not a lap kitty. Never has been. She likes to sit next to you on the couch; at night, she'll sleep on top of the bed; but she doesn't like to be picked up and cuddled and she doesn't sit on laps.
Tyler had a series of photos of Cellophane earlier that afternoon, sprawled across his lap.
Hmm.
Are there things you (or your partner, coworkers or boss) "just won't do"? Something out of character? Against beliefs or values?
Behavior and beliefs stem from habit. They've been repeated so often that they seem natural. Part of our identity.
I'm not a morning person. I surprised when a shift in one aspect of my life (which didn't have anything to do with sleep, by the way) resulted in my waking up refreshed, energized, and enthusiastic about the day ahead.
I know I've written about this before, but I'm continually amazed, amused, and relieved by it. We aren't constrained by our past. Sure, it affects us, but it doesn't determine us.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Book Review: Beyond Reason
Book review: Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate, by Roger Fisher (coauthor of Getting to Yes) and Daniel Shapiro (associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project).
The best way to resolve problems -- whether they're formal negotiations, or problem-solving related to corporate life or personal conflicts -- is to look at the facts, stay objective and dispassionate, and keep your feelings out of the way. Right?
Well, no. It sounds nice, and plenty of people will be quick to tell you that emotions have no place in business, but the fact is that emotions are a basic physiological response, like yanking your hand away from a scalding pot. Pretending you don't have any... that's like pretending you don't have a foot. Emotions can affect your body, your thinking, and your actions.
As with so many other issues, it's not what emotions you've got, but what you do with them that counts.
Fisher and Shapiro draw attention to common triggers of emotional upset and suggest ways to turn that attention into an asset. Reduce the likelihood that the situation will explode; instead, use your emotions (and those of your adversary) to create partnership, collaboration, and respect.
Oh -- and conflict resolution.
Talk about useful: Not only is the book easy to read, well documented, based on research, illustrated with real-life examples, and structured on a progressive list of principles and easy-to-execute suggestions, it's got a cool "Analytical Table of Contents" at the back, so you can locate and review procedures in a snap. (I love this feature.) There's no formal index (my only serious disappointment), but there's a lovely annotated bibliography that not only lists works consulted, but describes and evaluates them.
Emotions can mire discussions in a La Brea Tar Pit of messy decline, but they can also elevate discussions and create bonds of mutual purpose. The authors describe how to prevent the first scenario and stabilize the second. They describe five core concerns that stimulate many emotions: Appreciation, Affiliation, Autonomy, Status and Role; they offer ways to handle strong emotions; they suggest ways to prepare for (and thus avert) disaster.
The best way to resolve problems -- whether they're formal negotiations, or problem-solving related to corporate life or personal conflicts -- is to look at the facts, stay objective and dispassionate, and keep your feelings out of the way. Right?
Well, no. It sounds nice, and plenty of people will be quick to tell you that emotions have no place in business, but the fact is that emotions are a basic physiological response, like yanking your hand away from a scalding pot. Pretending you don't have any... that's like pretending you don't have a foot. Emotions can affect your body, your thinking, and your actions.
As with so many other issues, it's not what emotions you've got, but what you do with them that counts.
Fisher and Shapiro draw attention to common triggers of emotional upset and suggest ways to turn that attention into an asset. Reduce the likelihood that the situation will explode; instead, use your emotions (and those of your adversary) to create partnership, collaboration, and respect.
Oh -- and conflict resolution.
Talk about useful: Not only is the book easy to read, well documented, based on research, illustrated with real-life examples, and structured on a progressive list of principles and easy-to-execute suggestions, it's got a cool "Analytical Table of Contents" at the back, so you can locate and review procedures in a snap. (I love this feature.) There's no formal index (my only serious disappointment), but there's a lovely annotated bibliography that not only lists works consulted, but describes and evaluates them.
Emotions can mire discussions in a La Brea Tar Pit of messy decline, but they can also elevate discussions and create bonds of mutual purpose. The authors describe how to prevent the first scenario and stabilize the second. They describe five core concerns that stimulate many emotions: Appreciation, Affiliation, Autonomy, Status and Role; they offer ways to handle strong emotions; they suggest ways to prepare for (and thus avert) disaster.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Restaurant Recommendation: Madison's
After Friday's trip to Hermiston, all I was suited for this weekend was sleep. But I had brunch with a friend this morning -- how did I ever miss Madison's? Holy cow, what a fabulous meal! I actually had to choose between my favorites (they had them all): French toast, Eggs Benedict, corned beef hash and chicken fried steak. I decided on French toast, and it was amazing, with cinnamon apples and densely whipped cream. Kathleen had the chicken fried steak, and it was delicious. Even the hash browns were extraordinary, seasoned with rosemary (I think) and curry (Kat thinks). I think I'm going to head down there more often!
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